Oval Office President Sim

You're the new President. The last administration imploded live on cable news, the Oval Office is yours, and the entire country is watching — waiting for you to fall.

Oval Office President Sim is a fast, funny, gloriously unfair political survival game. Every month a fresh crisis lands on your desk. Every choice pleases someone and enrages someone else. Keep four factions — your Cabinet, Congress, the Media and the Public — from turning on you. Let any single one hit zero and you're out, and tomorrow's front page will be merciless.

Swipe-simple decisions, deep satirical consequences, five-minute sessions, and an administration that never, ever stops nearly falling apart.

What You're in for

• 314 hand-written crisis cards — scandals, summits, strikes, gaffes, cover-ups and pure farce
• Four faction meters that remember everything you do
• The Briefing Room — take questions from the White House press corps, choose which files you carry to the podium and which tactic to answer with, and try to own the room
• 16 Cabinet secretaries — sack the plotters, appoint fresh faces, and watch the loyalty (and the knives)
• The People — a directory of your Cabinet, 19 world-stage figures and 20 Americans who might reach your desk, each with a portrait and a dossier
• Somebody wants a word — an emira, a trade commissioner, a charge nurse, a long-haul driver. Every reply costs you something
• Letters, donors, spin and airtime — small decisions piling up beside the big folder
• A Rival who circles the moment your Cabinet stops trusting you
• Backstories & campaign pledges — promise the country the world, then live with it
• Election night on the Electoral College map — 538 seats, 270 to win, two terms and you retire undefeated
• Impeachment votes that can end a term the moment your Cabinet turns
• A dated in-game calendar — holidays, midterms and a news cycle that keeps its own diary
• 30 honours and disgraces to collect across every tenure, and an earned epithet when you fall
• A tenure comparison against every post-war President

How Long Can You Last?

Most Presidents don't make it a year. The all-time greats barely survive two terms. Your job is simple: outlast the administration that came before you — and leave office with fractionally more dignity than they did.

All Fiction, All Satire

No real presidents, no real parties, no real events — ever. The Cabinet secretaries, the press corps, the scandals: all invented. The only real-world reference is a factual list of past U.S. President tenure lengths (FDR onward), shown only on the end-of-run comparison screen. Any resemblance to actual government is coincidental, and frankly tragic.

No ads, no accounts, no tracking. Just you, the Resolute Desk, and a country that's one bad month from throwing you out.